Give Me an E!

"Girls can get out and do all of these overly sexually performances and we applaud them and that's not right," said Democratic Rep. Al Edwards of Houston, who filed the legislation.

Edwards argued that lascivious exhibitions are a distraction for high school students that result in pregnancies, high school dropouts, contraction of AIDS and herpes and "cutting off their youthful life at an early age."

If Edwards hopes to turn the thoughts of teens away from sex, he'll have to restrict a lot more than an NC-17 rendition of "Rock Steady." He seems to have forgotten what it was like after the adolescent change of life known as Peter Brady, which turns the entire world into a lascivious exhibition.

When I was a teen, a legislator trying to protect me from knocking up a dropout would have banned all of the following:

• The time Laura Dumais fell into my arms and my left wrist inadvertently reached second base
• Drawing the She-Hulk naked
• A breeze of at least three knots
• Role-playing a female NPC with a charisma score of 15 or better in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons
• The scene in The Sword and the Sorceror where Kathleen Beller had to be lathered in oil to prepare for her wedding
• Phoebe Cates

Good times.

Politics · 2005/05/05 · 4 COMMENTS · Link

Comments

"Role-playing"... you probably could stop that bullet point right there without loss of truth... although certainly role-playing a different gender would indicate a 115% probability of Bad Things Happening. (They're not to strong on math, ya know...)

#1 · Jeremy Bowers · 2005/05/05

Sword and the Sorceror?
Thanx fer the flashback.

Xusia’s tomb, featuring stone faces that come to life and start screaming, freaked me out as a kid and is still fairly effective today

Every time I watched "Night Court" I kept expecting Richard Moll to pull someones heart out and eat it right there on the spot.

Still kinda disapointed it never happened.

Be Well.

#2 · dethspud · 2005/05/06

Very funny! I am a high school teacher in an alternative school and I can relate. BTW I would be interested in knowing what web publishing tool you use for your site. MoveableType perhaps?
Warm regards,
John

#3 · Bluefrog · 2005/05/09

Mmmm... Phoebe Cates..... It's amazing how much power she gave to the words, "Hi Brad".

#4 · Mark Ratner's Twin · 2005/05/10

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